TO MY MONDEE (A Eulogy)

The eulogy I never got to say. I drafted this while I was on my flight home to see her last Thursday, with the intention of reading it when it was my turn to say a "few words" during her wake ..

I had that chance but my very mixed emotions and tears came rolling down even before I can read out the first line ..

I don't have a few words to say. I have a lot and she prolly stopped me coz it was going to be lenghty. haha .. plus, she knows that I say things better in writing, hehe.

So, this one's for you mondee .. 

We had a theory ..

Sometime in the morning of April 17, 1986, my birth day and one day after she was born, at the nursery room of Notre Dame de Lourdes Hospital , I was placed in a crib beside her then she introduced herself, welcomed me and gave me an orientation to the outside world .. We gossiped about the other babies inside the room, talked about how the first 9 months of our lives, what breastmilk taste like, how beautiful our mothers are, how proud are fathers were, what the weather was like ..  We know, it was a crazy and unrealistic story but we enjoyed making that up. Over the years, when we get a "Pano kayo nagkakakilala?" question. We would instantly say "sa nursery room" then burst into our "we-made-up-a-crazy-story" giggle.  Yes, that for me folks, was how I met my best friend.  Our paths crossed again in the hallways of Don Bosco Elementary School. She was my batch mate since kindergarten and eventually got to know each other better and became closer in 5th grade.  She was a part of my elementary years. I started and ended high school with her. She was my phone pal when landlines were the thing. I went off to nursing school with her, we enrolled at the same time and attended each class on our first year from minor subjects, to labs to PE classes as seat mates. We even failed the same subject and attended summer classes. On our third year, we both transferred to the same school. We went on hospital duties and explored communities during immersions, as group mates. Before and after school activities, lunch, recess, long break times and night outs were mostly with her. We went together on the first opening day of SM Baguio and on a lot more opening days before that and thereafter. We enjoyed field trips, food trips, road trips and a lot more of totally random trips together. We had lunch together at their home right after college graduation, her birthday, and saw each other again the next day for lunch at our place, my birthday. We attended and escaped review classes together. The day after the board exams, we went on a mini road trip with friends to Manaoag. We applied for jobs, attended seminars, interviews and orientations .. we were again classmates, seat mates, group mates in post-grad school for our masters. We were colleagues as English teachers for a month. We once tried out yoga and running .. We were practically sisters from another mama ..  On December 31, 2011, we started a tradition of having a year-end breakfast together, kind of a full-catch up-of-a-year-in-review thing. We've done 2 in a row so far, missed out last year and was looking forward to this year.  We were part of each others' triumphs and achievements, of each others' firsts and lasts as well as each others' boo-boos, failures, mistakes and heartbreaks.  We called each other Mondee, our term of endearment for a reason we'd always say we'd like to keep as a secret, but truth is, it was just of a lame origin, haha.  Everyone knows her as the friendly, thoughtful, sweet, soft-spoken, bubbly lady. She was the girl who had a nice penmanship and neat notes, the one who made the US flag for UN month during high school, and while everyone just cut and paste shapes to comply with the requirement, she precisely sewed all 50 paper stars in an A4 sized flag. She was the one who would doodle or draw when she's bored or the one who would patiently organize and get into detail.  But to me, she was all that and more.  She was my Mondee, my opposite and my complement, my go-to person, my partner-in-crime, my conscience, my voice of reason, my stronghold, my clarity, .. she was my best friend and it doesn't matter if we have not seen each other for over a year now or if we haven't talked since May, because we know, we would still know as we always knew no matter what that there was no doubting the foundation that we've built upon our friendship.  She was that girl who treasured friendships and relationships very much and will show and make you feel it in the best way that she can. She had that charm to be everyone's friend. Ako yung matampuhin pag lagi siyang busy tuwing uuwi ako and she was the chill one who would remind me na "hindi kita kinakalimutan, busy lang talaga". Patrick, her boyfriend, told me during her wake when I introduced myself as it was our first time to meet, "Yes, I know you. I have a picture of you! Ice said her best friend was in Singapore and she showed me a picture of you, I know you .."  After hearing Patrick say that, I am again reminded how she values the people she loves. I heard her inside my head saying "Oh, wag ka nanaman magdrama ha! Sabi sayo hnd kita nakalimutan eh!"  All these and everything in between, was about the her and me, TOGETHER. And it all seems surreal to me that the person who I shared half of all these memories is now gone. The other half of the story is missing and it doesn't make sense till now that I am reminiscing all by myself because the other half of the story is missing and no will be there to fill in the blanks when I forget the best part ..  So this is how it feels like to lose your best friend .. its like losing a part of you that you can never take back no matter how hard you try. its like having an empty hole in your heart that constantly reminds you that something is not quite right.. its like being left alone and lost in the wilderness ..  Mondee,  That is how it felt for the past week .. and in the days to come, I will always wish you were still here, I will wish you were here whenever I come home to try out that new coffee shop somewhere. I will wish you were still here to help me plan my wedding because I need your creative mind to help me with my DIY's .. I will need your opinion on which dress to wear and which color to pick .. I will wish I could talk to you about good days, bad days, better days and you know .. life. I will miss laughing with you about things only we understand. I will miss sharing secrets and being naughty with you.  I will wish that we can still have that chismisan sesh while we drive around not knowing exactly where to go. I will wish I could just message you and ask you a random question or even listen to your unsolicited advice and sermons. Now, part of my tears whenever I cry is because I am missing you! Part of me will stay stale because I will never see you smile or hear you laugh again. Part of me will always look up to see that if the sky is beautiful, I'd believe that you painted that. Part of me will me regret that there were still things that should and could have been. Part of me will ache when our birthdays come up. Part of me will forever hold on to your memory ..  I was looking forward to having you as my bridesmaid and listening to that wedding speech, which partly scares me kasi alam mo marami kang ibubuking, but I'd still love to hear it anyway .. I was looking forward to a million and one things actually, like .. that we were still going to be part of each others' weddings and be the super ninangs to our future kids .. that we were going to have that summer birthday trip that we've been planning for years .. that we were going to celebrate our big 30's next year with fireworks .. that we were going to put up a pre-school .. that we were going to continue our "year-end breakfast" tradition until we grow old enough to wake up for breakfast .. We were going to grow old together .. We were each others' forever! .. aren't we supposed to be and do all that?  You left too soon and no matter how many "why's" I ask or how much sometimes I'd think that life is unfair .. My consolation is knowing that you are in a much better place. That you are in the same paradise where my papa is. That you are happier and finally at peace wherever you are .. That your 29 years, tho short, is a life well lived as evidenced by each and everyone back home and around the globe who came to see you and be with you for the last time, for those who sent messages, offered prayers and said good things about you, how you inspired and touched their lives  ..  You will be my constant reminder of a life well lived. Of how finding joy and contentment in simple things will make it all worth it, of dreaming and making them come true slowly and surely, of giving value to the things and people who matter most, of inspiring and touching others life with the gift of friendship.  Maybe I was part of your mission here on earth? You were here to be my personal angel, to guide me and be with me and make sure that I was and will be okay.  Maybe the theory on how we met wasn't a coincidence after all because God has truly surrounded me with the most wonderful family and friends since day 1! You know that It won't be me without you, Mondee! You've done a good job on the best friend part, you raised me well! hehe.  THANK YOU MONDEE ..  In behalf of Jean, Cynthia and myself -- thank you for the friendship, for somehow being the force that keeps us together despite our differences.  In behalf of Don Bosco Elementarty School Batch 1999 and Don Bosco High School School Batch 2003 .. of SLU BSN Block M .. of the Centaurs, Easter College, CON 2007  -- We thank God for the blessing we have in you and we thank you for sharing a part of you with us, for spending time with us ..  19 of my 29 years are all filled with memory after memory after memory of you and I had the next 29 over years set on creating the next best memories together .. nonetheless, for 19 years of us THANK YOU. MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT .. I am proud of you and even prouder to be your best friend Mondee. I will always be .. I don't think I'll ever forget you. I won't even if I tried, but I won't even try!  I promise to think of you or be reminded of you with a smile on my face because I was blessed with the chance of knowing you and being your friend. I will thank God everyday for you, that in my lifetime, I once met a gentle and beautiful soul who became my best friend and became an important part of my life. I will miss you bigtime!  Rest in peace, Mondita. Watch over me still ok? I will be ok and make you proud!  I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SOOOOO MUCH!  P.S. Hug Papa for Me!  <3,  your mondee.  "Its been a long day without you my friend, and I'll tell you all about it when I see you again .. we've come a long way from where we began, Oh,  i'll tell you all about it when i see you again ..." TILL I SEE YOU AGAIN MONDEE.  ICE MAGNOLIA FLORES  (April 16, 1986 - August 30, 2015)