SAD, BAD, UGLY AND PATHETIC.
I had a conversation
one night with a friend where she shared how some people make it seem like being still single in your late 20's is SAD, BAD, UGLY and PATHETIC.
Really? OUCH ha!
Well, they got it all wrong ..
IT.IS.NOT!
And I say this because I know what and how it feels like. I have been single and experienced the wrath of it enough in my late 20's to know what it means to be single and _______(fill in the blanks with whatever adjective you can think off).
Before Lt. Z came into the picture, I was having the grandest time of my life as a single 27 turning 28 year old. I have accepted the fact that possibly, staying single is my destiny. I am in love with myself, with the non-romantic relationships I have, I am loving my life that it was easier for me to be content and accepting and that the chance of meeting someone would be an added bonus to my already colourful and wonderful life, but no pressure on that.
But then the society and their ideals can be really harsh sometimes and being a single 28 year old woman does not exempt the prying eyes of those who are easy to judge. Sigh!
When you are a kick-ass 28 year old single woman, you don't get a congratulations for being so damn good at it! Instead, the statements, "bat single ka pa?" "walang may gusto sayo?", "kawawa ka naman, mag isa ka lang, "ang taas kasi ng standards mo!", "matanda ka na!", "kahit sino na mag asawa ka na" .. can go on forever until the time you change your Facebook status then everyone finally congratulates you.
But unless you have experienced the joys and pain of single life then you will never really know what is it like.
That moment when you so badly want to talk to someone but all your friends are out on a date because you forgot its Valentines day, or when you have downloaded all the Viber stickers but no one to have a sticker battle with, or when you get caught in the rain and you pity yourself so much you blame your single hood on it. Haha!
Now, now. now. Before you start to say, "oo nga no?! pathetic nga!" .. Let me share with you some hacks to survive the single life ..
IT.IS.NOT!
And I say this because I know what and how it feels like. I have been single and experienced the wrath of it enough in my late 20's to know what it means to be single and _______(fill in the blanks with whatever adjective you can think off).
Before Lt. Z came into the picture, I was having the grandest time of my life as a single 27 turning 28 year old. I have accepted the fact that possibly, staying single is my destiny. I am in love with myself, with the non-romantic
relationships I have, I am loving my life that it was easier for me to be content and accepting and that the chance of meeting someone would be an added bonus to my already colourful and wonderful life, but no pressure on that. But then the society and their ideals can be really harsh sometimes and being a single 28 year old woman does not exempt the prying eyes of those who are easy to judge. Sigh!
When you are a kick-ass 28 year old single woman, you don't get a congratulations for being so damn good at it! Instead, the statements, "bat single ka pa?" "walang may gusto sayo?", "kawawa ka naman, mag isa ka lang, "ang taas kasi ng standards mo!", "matanda ka na!", "kahit sino na mag asawa ka na" .. can go on forever until the time you change your Facebook status then everyone finally congratulates you.
But unless you have experienced the joys and pain of single
life then you will never really know what is it like. That moment when you so badly want to talk to someone but all your friends are out on a date because you forgot its Valentines day, or when you have downloaded
all the Viber stickers but no one to have a sticker battle with, or when you get caught in the rain and you pity yourself so much you blame your single hood on it. Haha! Now, now. now. Before you start
to say, "oo nga no?! pathetic nga!" .. Let me share with you some hacks to survive the single life ..
ON ACCEPTING THE SINGLE STATUS.
After my ex relationship ended 4 years ago, I realised, after having gone through a really emotional turbulence, that there is more to life than holding on to that excruciating memory, than painfully hoping for another relationship to save you from that misery and than living through next years of your life with bitterness and feeling sorry for your fate as a single woman in a cheesy hopeless romantic world.
And the transition started 1 year after, with a decision I made for myself to commit to find peace, happiness and love in my solitude.
relationship ended 4 years ago, I realised, after having gone through a really emotional turbulence, that there is more to life than holding on to that excruciating memory, than painfully hoping for another relationship to save you from that misery and than living through next years of your life with bitterness and feeling sorry for your fate as a single woman in a cheesy hopeless romantic world. And the transition started
1 year after, with a decision I made for myself to commit to find peace, happiness and love in my solitude.
And it was not easy! Being the mushy, clingy, happily ever after girl that I am, I had to let go of the idea that "I am better off with someone else". And certainly, for that time it dawned on me that a heartbreak is not the end of the world, that I am at my best being myself, that embracing my independence is a step towards at the stronger and better me, that loving myself more made me search for love less and made me appreciate the love from the people who matter most in my life.
And since then, I have never been prouder, happier and more content to be alone.
And since then, I have never been prouder, happier and more content to be alone.
ON SEARCHING FOR LOVE.
If you are doing this, STOP. Just stop.
If you are doing this because you think that it will fix and complete you, don't, coz it won't, it shouldn't be .. what if it fails? then it would just leave you broken and incomplete again?
"When God knows you're ready for the responsibility of a commitment, He will reveal the right person under the right circumstances. Wait Patiently. Don't waste your time searching and wishing. Grow and be Ready and you'll see, God will give you a love story far better than you could ever dream of..."
Pray for it and in the meantime, spend time with your family and friends, start doing the things you love, pursue your little and big dreams, read books, watch a marathon of your favorite shows, eat all the french fries in the world, go places and get lost, enjoy your alone times .. use your free time to play clash of clans, haha!
Love your awesome self and believe me, when the love of your life comes, you will have loads of stories to tell, tons of experiences to share which makes you exude confidence and "this girl is amazing" aura. That is going to make you beautiful and amazing in his eyes which is going to make him fall in love with you even more ..
ON DATING.
Go. Do it. Meet new people. Get to know someone or two. Have a drink or drinks. Watch a movie or movies. Send in a friend request or followback ..
But keep in mind that dating in your early 20's is different from now that you are in your late 20's. You should be at the stage where you already know your worth as a woman and that you cannot just settle for the "kilig", for lousy conversations, for pa-cute gestures and for shallow antics. Well, unless, these are your types, then I can't really argue with you on that.
Some would say "wag ka nang choosy!" but helloooooo, you CAN choose, you SHOULD choose! Because you don't want to resolve your single hood with whoever comes along just because you are pressured to be with someone or just because you think you are running out of time.
Think about it, Is it too much to ask for someone who knows and appreciates your worth? Is it too much to ask for someone who accepts the person that you truly are, crazy, weird and all? Is it too much to ask for someone who can really commit to a relationship with you?
Do it, if you can handle it. Don't if it just hassles you.
ON BEING COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR INDEPENDENCE
This is one of the best ways to pull off the single status. Be out and proud!
You know that you don't need someone else to enjoy a cup of coffee, to travel with, to decide which shoes to wear or which colour to pick. You are your own best friend and you are perfectly fine with that.
You are alone, you know it and you are not sulking over it because you know that it does not make you less of a person to do things on your own.
AND WHEN IT DOES GET REALLY SAD, BAD, UGLY AND PATHETIC ..
Then allow yourself to hate your situation and f@&k your life for a moment. You can cry over it, cringe at every chummy couples you ran into, hibernate from social media, consume a whole bottle of your choice of drink, over eat, call in sick or go on random dates.
Go somewhere and wallow in your single life sorrows but do not self destruct.
Recognize that these emotions happen because you are a human being with feelings, much more a woman who has her feelings controlled by her hormones. So yes, its ok question the universe and cry yourself to sleep or in the shower once in a while.
So, you'll have to pull yourself together again, which you will always successfully do because single hood has molded you into a strong, confident and courageous woman who will not allow herself to be judged by her status.
So to the Single late 20-ish girl out there ..
Remember, being single is not something that you have to get rid off. It is not a disease that you have to treat and it will not kill you for pete's sake .. a lot of single ladies are out there strutting their stuff and living the life more that those who are in a relationship ..
It's ok. You are ok and nothing is wrong with you ..
Just embrace it for the time being.. you are going to be just fine :)
If you are doing this, STOP. Just stop.
If you are doing this because you think that it will fix and complete you, don't, coz it won't, it shouldn't be .. what if it fails? then it would just leave you broken and incomplete again?
"When God knows you're ready for the responsibility of a commitment, He will reveal the right person under the right circumstances. Wait Patiently. Don't waste your time searching and wishing. Grow and be Ready and you'll see, God will give you a love story far better than you could ever dream of..."
Pray for it and in the meantime, spend time with your family and friends, start doing the things you love, pursue your little and big dreams, read books
, watch a marathon of your favorite shows, eat all the french fries in the world, go places and get lost, enjoy your alone times .. use your free time to play clash of clans, haha! Love your awesome self and believe me, when the love of your life comes, you will have loads of stories to tell, tons of experiences to share which makes you exude confidence and "this girl is amazing" aura. That is going to make you beautiful and amazing in his eyes which is going to make him fall in love with you even more ..
ON DATING.
Go. Do it. Meet new people. Get to know someone or two. Have a drink or drinks. Watch a movie or movies. Send in a friend request or followback ..
But keep in mind that dating in your early 20's is different from now that you are in your late 20's. You should be at the stage where you already know your worth as a woman and that you cannot just settle for the "kilig", for lousy conversations, for pa-cute gestures and for shallow antics. Well, unless, these are your types, then I can't really argue with you on that.
Some would say "wag ka nang choosy!" but helloooooo, you CAN choose, you SHOULD choose! Because you don't want to resolve your single hood with whoever comes along just because you are pressured to be with someone or just because you think you are running out of time.
Think about it, Is it too much to ask for someone who knows and appreciates your worth? Is it too much to ask for someone who accepts the person that you truly are, crazy, weird and all? Is it too much to ask for someone who can really commit to a relationship with you?
Do it, if you can handle it. Don't if it just hassles you.
ON BEING COMFORTABLE WITH YOUR INDEPENDENCE
This is one of the best ways to pull off the single status. Be out and proud!
You know that you don't need someone else to enjoy a cup of coffee, to travel with, to decide which shoes to wear or which colour to pick. You are your own best friend and you are perfectly fine with that.
You are alone, you know it and you are not sulking over it because you know that it does not make you less of a person to do things on your own.
AND WHEN IT DOES GET REALLY SAD, BAD, UGLY AND PATHETIC ..
Then allow yourself to hate your situation and f@&k your life for a moment. You can cry over it, cringe at every chummy couples you ran into, hibernate from social media, consume a whole bottle of your choice of drink, over eat, call in sick or go on random dates.
Go somewhere and wallow in your single life sorrows but do not self destruct.
Recognize that these emotions happen because you are a human being with feelings, much more a woman who has her feelings controlled by her hormones. So yes, its ok question the universe and cry yourself to sleep or in the shower once in a while.
So, you'll have to pull yourself together again, which you will always successfully do because single hood has molded you into a strong, confident and courageous woman who will not allow herself to be judged by her status.
So to the Single late 20-ish girl out there ..
Remember, being single is not something that you have to get rid off. It is not a disease that you have to treat and it will not kill you for pete's sake .. a lot of single ladies are out there strutting their stuff and living the life more that those who are in a relationship ..
It's ok. You are ok and nothing is wrong with you ..
Just embrace it for the time being.. you are going to be just fine :)
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